Don't Set Yourself on Fire to Keep Others Warm

Updated: May 17, 2020

That quote hits a place so deep, doesn’t it?

I know personally that used to be me, not wanting ANYONE to be let down, to have to experience an inconvenience because of me, or to be let down because of my (in)actions.

Sound familiar?

It wasn’t until I gave up booze that I was able to look at my life from a no bullshit zone and realize that if a situation arose, it was NOT my job to save it each and every time. I realized that there were many other solutions to solve each situation, that didn’t include me offering myself when the uncomfortable began to show up. So how did I learn to not keep setting myself on fire, despite the wounds of doing this action over & over again?

TIP#1: Just👏say👏no👏.

Say it with me now: “NO”.

No is a complete sentence, and so many times, we feel compelled to add onto this sentence with more details as to why we’re saying NO in the first place.

But guess what?

No thank you is really all you have to say to save yourself the scorches from another fire.


If you’re like me, there’s quite a few people in our lives who will repeatedly tell you that they’re freezing, knowing that YOU will set yourself on fire to keep them warm. But those people fail to see that they’re just as capable to keep warm by actions they’re in control of, like extra layering of clothes or drinking warm bevvies. People who constantly lean on you for things that result in you adding to your plate are the people you need to draw healthy boundaries with. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry you’re freezing today! Have you cranked up your heat?”


I preach this ALL the time. Try eliminating total burnout mode by putting YOURSELF first, in order to be your best for others!

We ALL have the same 24-hours in a day, and it comes down to how we choose to live it.


Maybe before this post, burning yourself alive was the only knowledge you had to keep others warm. But when you know better, you do better.

So now, begin putting some of these steps in place, in order to free yourself from the wounds of burnout, and take care of yourself first with love & kindness.

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